What did you wish you knew before the baby was born?
Sleep is the greatest thing in the world. Try living without it … You will.
Sometimes, you just have to lie.
Back pain. Shoulder pain. I’m 30 and I still workout – but little muscles get tweaked.
You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
I was taking care of my wife, and she was taking care of the baby. I was just less important – at least at first.
Google DOES NOT have all the answers. Every child is different. It’s ok to “not know!”
Everybody’s circumstances are different but remember that in order to function as parents you and the mother of your child must function as a couple first.
Remember that you are no longer the most important person in your wife’s life anymore when that baby arrives. Be ok with being somewhat set aside.
“Again, Daddy!” They want that book again, that ride again, that way of playing again. It’s adorable … and it never ends. I guess I’ll miss it. Now, it would be okay if I got a break.
I expected things to be 50/50 right off the bat. What I didn’t expect was that my newborn really only wanted his mom… It was unexpected and hurt that I couldn’t give him what he needed (milk!) and I don’t think I had emotionally prepared myself for that. It made the first few weeks hard.
Most importantly, take a few mins every now and then whether that be in the car after shopping or during a workout to just relax and focus on recharging your battery even if just for a few mins. It makes a world of difference.
If you have mother-in-law problems now, it’s gonna get worse. Make sure your wife backs you up against your mother-in-law. They can try to close you out and plant crazy stuff in your wife’s head. Say “You had your kids – this is my kid.” It can be brutal.
People would say “Exhaustion” and “Sleep Deprivation” and I didn’t know what that was. I do now.
Marriage as team. Even if marriage dies, you are still team with kid – for rest of life. So work together. And pray she’s reasonable once and a while.
There is so much to worry about that you get tired of worrying, and develop this sort of faith and acceptance. Being on same page with spouse is key.
Sometimes, this baby is going to cry … and there is nothing you can do, but hold it, and be there and wait. You’re powerless – and you have to be there.
The first time your baby catches a cold, you think you are going to die. They’re helpless – it’s terrifying.
You want to be perfect – but you can’t. Don’t judge. And F*&$ anyone who judges you – anyone!
You can read the pages of the book in any order. You can say anything.
The baby is studying us all the time … looking for weaknesses. It’s very clever.
Even when you don’t buy a lot of stuff you spend a lot of money. Diapers, etc.
We talk about poop, chart it – it’s a big part of it. Now, I feel naked if I don’t have a clean diaper in a cargo pocket.
It’s great – but not how I thought it would be great. And it’s boring – but you don’t care.
You will be amazed at how much you can handle. Try not to wreck your car.
I think you learn what’s important. Some things we thought were important just aren’t. Others – like getting enough sleep, hitting nap times, etc … they are really really important.
Do the vaccines. Keep your wife off mom Facebook. Don’t let her get in a circle of crazy “safety moms” – it’s hell for you, and will mess up your kids. I’ve seen it happen. Bad.
You want to take 10,000 photographs. I think I did. The moments are that precious – but you miss them when you’re taking pictures. People will send you pics. You can be there – not just be family cameraman.
People who have never been parents just don’t get it. If your baby hasn’t come yet – you don’t get it. There is no way you could.
Fluids and their smells are just everywhere. You’ll get used to them – which isn’t necessarily good.
I didn’t know the kid would be funny. We’re laughing all the time – making each other laugh. That part’s great.
Sometimes they want one parent more than the other – you can’t feel too good or too bad about that.
The second kid will be nothing like the first.
They interrupt when you’re (finally) going to have sex. I think it’s evolution. Same with siblings: they want to kill the other one, until they figure out they can gang up on you.
People will say “Wow – your kid is the most amazing beautiful kid ever” and you don’t get that they are kind of mocking you, because you think that’s true.
People think because you’re a man, you’re an idiot. Old ladies you don’t know will say “Oh, let me take her” or “Where is the mother – is she alright?” Expect it.
1. Ultimately, everything works out.
2. No one knew how to do this – you learn from trail and error.
It’s hard work. Like – all you have to do is show up and keep on top of things … and that’s really hard. And keep your job. And get yelled at once and a while.
You will learn to give up on things that aren’t important. Eventually, your wife will, too.
The first few months is living hell. You will lose your mind. You will forget to brush your teeth. Your wife will just sit and be a milk factory and be sad and unsatisfied, including with you … Fortunately, it ends.
Don’t worry about shit.
People don’t know.
Your wife will change. Completely.
Your wife will feel like she’s failed for no good reason, even if she’s basically perfect. Good luck with that.
Find both sources and destination for hand-me-down clothes. Boxes by months in ages – you get everything from a kid 6 months older than yours, and pass it on to a kid a little younger. They outgrow stuff in about 20 minutes, and it’s gonna be stained and torn, so let it start out that way.