Notes from a Dad Shower: A New Ritual

Guest Post by Nate Azaroff, Early Engagement Dad

When one of my oldest friends first suggested the idea of a "dad shower," I was skeptical. He'd attended one recently and was raving about the experience. He had gotten the concept from Early Engagement, a nonprofit oriented towards early fatherhood education based in Santa Monica. This organization champions the role of fathers during the critical 0-3 phase of a child's life and offers courses to help men transition into informed and confident dads.

You see, the traditional baby shower has always been an event for the mother-to-be. But this perspective overlooks a crucial fact: the father is also on the brink of a transformative life event also. These final moments before fatherhood are as much his as they are hers. While baby showers offer women a space to bond over the impending labor and the joys and challenges of motherhood, isn't there room for men to have their own version of this ritual?

It's not about men gathering to share their deepest feelings, give gifts from a registry, or drink champagne. Instead, the dad bath serves as a pause button—a moment to reflect on the imminent changes and to gather the community of friends I hope will play a role in my child's life. This is my chosen village.

The day of the dad shower was relaxed and filled with camaraderie. We fired up the barbecue, cracked open some beers, and reveled in the kind of carefree fun that becomes a rare luxury once you're a new parent. As friends arrived, we formed a circle and shared stories about our fathers—the good, the bad, the funny, and the poignant. One buddy jokingly suggested hiring a stripper, but thankfully, the majority of my friends have finally become mature enough to shoot down the idea. As the evening wound down, we caught the tail end of the Lakers game, a perfect cap to a memorable day.

Perhaps the most crucial tip for a successful dad shower? Ensure the mother-to-be has her own relaxing activity planned. My wife chose a massage, and when she returned, she was the picture of relaxation. That night, we both felt a profound sense of peace and connection, culminating in an intimate moment of love.

The dad shower was a good old fashioned hang out, but it was more than just a party. It was a rite of passage, a celebration of the journey ahead that led to this moment, and a reminder that while motherhood has its rituals, fatherhood deserves its own too.